Wednesday, July 29th, 2009
A Life in Spain. Week 2…Travelling and leaving yourself behind
The second week of my blog about living in Spain sees me travelling two 18 hour days from our hill in Southern Spain up to France and then further on up to Dieppe, crossing the channel over to Newhaven and onto Cambridge in order to sell our motorhome to pay off the finance, buy a car and drive back down. The weirdest feeling when you travel by road is when your physical body gets there but your energy and sense of being seems to be still slowly travelling on the road to catch you up. Just as you see the hands clap moments before the sound, the body definitely arrives before the other aspects of your being. This feeling is a constant reminder to me of the many aspects of myself and that the physical reality I see before me is not all.
So, here I am in the UK. Up until now I’ve been travelling by plane every month back to England on our European travels in order to work, so when Ray said he thought it would be really weird being in England again, I disagreed and said it would be just as it always was and that he’d soon get used to it. Well, I was wrong. In the last few weeks in Spain i’ve been settling into a place where the majority of land is bare earth between the light, soft green of the olive trees which cast breathtaking shadows over the velvet brown earth at sundown. I’ve been breathing the same air that the horses I can see from my terrace are breathing in the cool of the morning before the crickets awake and being greeted by the bright eyes of Andalucian men who all say hello as they look deep into your eyes. And so I had been affected by my time already there and as we drove up through Northern France and into the cool evening of the ferry crossing and the landing in Newhaven, he was right, I found being in England this time very different. Most of all, I felt the presence of tarmac and roads and the suppression of nature under the sprawl of our towns and the presence of so many of us on this island. I began to sense again a deep sadness at the low point of connectivity to our world and to each other that we as human beings are experiencing today. And as we are all running around telling ourselves that we are advancing and becoming increasingly cultivated as a race, what hope is there, I ask? These reflections seemed to bring me deeper and deeper towards my inner self, my real self and reminded me of what it must have been like when I was brought to England at the age of 7 after growing up in Africa.
Since deciding on Spain and finding our place, I have felt very much in the flow of life. This is in direct opposition to how you feel when you can sense discord and unhappiness but don’t quite know where its coming from and you’re not sure what to do as everything you do seems to be so damn hard. This ‘in the flow’ feeling finds you spontaneously researching something on the internet that barely held your attention before and having that ‘I can put the world to rights’ feeling only previously experienced on vast quantities of unspecified social drugs. You know, the feeling which kept you and your friends talking well into the night (all at the same time of course) about issues which in the morning you all had no recollection of, the only thing you remembered is that feeling, the ‘I know what its all about’ feeling. Anyway, I’ve been having that and suddenly found myself blurting out a load of thoughts to Ray as we drove through the vast, scorched, blonde earth of central Spain. I think the vastness helped my mind to expand and I came up with three starting points for exploring my potential which, as promised, I will share with you:
To write in all genres as and when the feeling takes me, with the ultimate aim of writing a book.
To ride horses and become a ‘fearless’ horsewoman.
To bring music into my life.
How I came to these three aspects of my being which I feel need exploring is a long story and begins with my first initiation into the way of Reiki. I can hardly believe that only now, 10 years later have I cleared enough of the received influence of my life to be ready to explore and start living them. It has been quite a journey just to find them and then to release myself from the web of life I had created around me which kept me from them, but it is done and here I am. There is quite a way to go but now slowly, creeping, widening, expanding within and without, the moments and opportunities in which I might begin are presenting themselves.
With Love
Rebecca
Reiki Worshops I, II & Masters in the UK in September 2009.
Please contact me for information on these.
